The Fabulous Reinvention of Mama
Posted on December 14, 2015
Every child shifts my focus. After each pregnancy, I changed. My firstborn made me laugh and sing more. My oldest daughter reawakened my creative urges to crochet and write. The child I lost helped me prioritize compassion. The twins made me stronger and faster and braver. My last little one made me fierce enough to breathe the pure gold of sunlight.
Mothers are chimeras of themselves and their children. I have developed a new superpower with each. Silly songs! Novels! Hand holding! Catching dropped things before they smash! Being in LOVE! Jazz hands in public! Laughing up and down the harmonic scales! Liking my mama legs and belly! Giving everyone a shot at grace! Letting myself be Mothered! Owning the instinct to nurture! Being smart AND tired AND able to speak toddler! Cleaning AND not hating myself when I can’t! Reaching out a hand to my sisters and friends! Pouring tea with one hand and a full heart!
The fabulous reinvention of Mama means that the war with beauty is over. I’ve unearthed the buried treasures and shined them up for hospitality and joy.
The fabulous reinvention of Mama means that I will fight time and sleep and even my own fragile nerves to reconnect with those I love. So what if my older kids and I drifted apart? I have an oar, and I’m rowing back towards them.
The fabulous reinvention of Mama means that the misleading questions of our day– work/life balance? doing it all? gourmet meals and magazine house? fashion model figure? –are trampled underfoot like so many Cheerios. From dust they came, and to dust they have returned.
The fabulous reinvention of Mama means that my eyes and heart are open to the mothering love of God. I learned the joy, the compassion, the open and welcoming hand, the teaching, the dance, the wisdom, from hearing the songs of the Theotokos, of saints and angels, and of the good God who loves humankind. If I’m a mama worth the name, it’s because of the habits of hearing I have learned in the Church.
This Christmas, I’m giving myself and my family the gift of acceptance. Accept the reinvention, and you’re free to rejoice:
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