Or, the most passive aggressive and cowardly social media app ever.

Writing Like a Mother author Summer Kinard thinks the new app is going too far.

Writing Like a Mother author Summer Kinard thinks the new app is going too far.

My friends and I have this little hashtag for moments like this: #nope. Rating PEOPLE? Really? Who is going to use this for good?

Here are some of the most common Peeple comments, as imagined by Anyone Who Watches Social Media Trends Ever:

  • She’s definitely a bad mom. I saw her look at her phone while her kids were sliding, and one of the kids had chocolate frosting on his face because SHE GAVE HIM A CUPCAKE FOR SNACK. OMG Neanderthal.
  • Saw him in the store buying oatmeal. Plain oatmeal. Who eats this anymore when there are so many cereal options?
  • Didn’t text me back.
  • For anyone who knows him, you already know what I’m going to say. Let’s just leave it at that. (2nd lowest ranking)
  • Has an old TV that won’t even hook up to a PS4, not that he knows what that is.
  • u no wut i mean rit? dis ho not give wut advertiz {expletive deleted}
  • Worst grocery bagger ever.
  • This teacher is so stoopud. She giv me homwerk like i need it n stuff. {expletive deleted}

Now, there was just this very encouraging viral post from NYMag about the benefits of reminding someone of their best moments {click here for article}. Could Peeple be used for good in this way? Sure. Some nice folks will Girl Scout up the place with positivity and joy, but on the whole? I’m thinking this is just a new temptation to pettiness and passive aggressive ranting.

There is one way I can imagine this will be used well: micro fiction. I think there are enough awesome persons out there to turn Peeple into a hilarious new medium for micro-fiction on famous people. I’m thinking along the lines of the Chuck Norris fan memes or the reuse of Mean Girls lines to praise people in a clever way. Or the Amazon comments for {this Three Wolf tee shirt}*. Let’s aim for that.

*affiliate link