Technical Writing Thursday: Instruction Manual for My Family
Posted on May 10, 2012
Each week I will share a tiny glimpse into the practical side of love, the secret ingredient.
There are a couple few Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes when Scotty admonishes engineering on how to make themselves look like heroes and geniuses. All mothers do this, to some extent. I used to ask my mom why her sandwiches tasted better than the ones I made for myself with the same ingredients. She would say it was her love. I’m not going to argue with Mom here, but I think the time has come for us moms to fess up about our methods AND maybe work on our technical writing in the meantime.
This Week’s Theme: Potty Time!
You would think that with children this enthusiastic about brooms that I would never have a dirty floor. In fact, if we lived in old Pompei, archeologists would think our household worshiped bunnies, owing to the extravagant offerings of carbohydrate disks, rings, and tiny cheesy rabbits covering every floor of the house. Crackers are easy enough to clean up, if I weren’t so busy writing as soon as the children get to bed. My real nemesis is toilet tissue. Thus, this week’s Instruction Manual.
How to Keep the Toddler from Unrolling All of the TP
1. Catch her before she gets to it.
1.a Laugh. You know she’s faster than you.
2. When the first option fails, distraction is your best ploy. Time for the sneezing game.
3. Remove one square of toilet paper from the roll. (You are on the pot anyway, and she has you cornered.)
4. Before she can cry over your refusal to let her unroll the entire pile of toilet paper to the floor, fake the biggest, silliest sneeze you can. (It’s okay if you make yourself pee a little, since, hey! location.)
4.a Repeat after me: “Ah-ah-catch-hooo! God bless me!”
5. When the baby laughs, give her one square of toilet paper.
6. Say “God bless you!” enthusiastically when she pretends to sneeze.
7. Repeat every time the tot catches you in the potty.
8. After a few dozen repetitions, your toddler will think one square of toilet paper is funnier than a whole roll piled on the floor.
Your turn! Write your own post on this week’s technical writing theme-Potty Time – and link up below. Stop by and show your fellow participants some blog love.
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